Jagged Little Poutine

by Kaiketsu Zachary (怪傑ザカリー)

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My first go at hip hop.


released July 17, 2014



all rights reserved


Kaiketsu Zachary (怪傑ザカリー) Los Angeles, California

I started performing regularly while living in Japan and took on the stage name "Kaiketsu Zachary".
"Kaiketsu" is a kind of comic book moniker meaning something like "uncanny"

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Track Name: That Accent
I barely stood above a grasshopper's knee when I had to move South with my family. No more friends, cousins, lakes, and trees. The farther we'd go, the more we'd see...
Thugmasta Taps was the local MC.
Said, "It's an empire here, yo, and I'm the king. You wanna get good you better roll with me." as he grinned real big like a wolf to a sheep. Then he snapped his fingers and along they came: the piranha children of our first grade. With a hand on my back and a voice now raised, "Hey look here fellas, a juicy steak!"
"What did you say? You don't talk like us. You don' sound like us. C'mon say it again, say it again. Please, please say it again!"
"What do potato chips come in?"
Uh...a bag?
"What's a radio flyer?"
Uh...a little red wagon?
"The 6th prime minister of Israel?"
Uh...Menachim Begin?

Please laugh again. Tell me how I don't fit in.

"Pack up your cheese and leave. Yo, hoser, don't want ya here. Put on your skates and hockey right up back North. Moose, moose, maple leaf!"
I'm from Wisconsin. Wisconsin! Not that it matters though because ...
Hoosier geography, it's us and them, you ain't in you out, you ain't here you there. Reasoning in a Midwestern school is a circular hole and a peg that is square.
"If Larry Bird don't say it, Reggie Miller don't play it, why should care? Why should care? Teacher, why should we care?"

Please laugh again. Tell me how I don't fit in.

No! I don't fit in. I ain't a baller. My girlfriend ain't pregnant teen. I ain't trippin' every day on methamphetamine. Yeah, fool,I don't fit in! See while you were jeerin I was listenin, I take the bullies words and start twistin' 'em. Morpheme, syntax, grammar, I throw down a linguistic pog slammer! Bilingual, tri-lingual, polyglot, there's no end in sight for this fake Canuck. Y'all dissin' me for my accent, now shut up and hear what I'm spittin'!

Grammaire française avancée. Faut dire que moi, non, je suis pas parfait. Je suis plus que parfait et plus que ça je suis allé à Paris au mois de mais, à Maroc et puis j'ai étudié chinois, japonois, l'espagnol. A 18 ans j'ai parcouru le monde!

Et vous?

Oui, c'est drôle, mais oui c'est drôle. Je suis pas comme vous. Non, mois, je suis pas comme vous.

Academia, curiosity, whatever I do I will succeed. Thugmasta and that Hoosier scene, man, y'all legislatin' pi to 3 and not even gettin' my reference, too busy ticklin' your own vas deferens. Let me lend y'all some clarity. All your base are belong to me!
Track Name: Unapologetic Politesse
You call that savin' face, you think that's right. Take your honor shove it up your ass, I didn't come to fight.

I don't make enemies, I make amends. You wave that gun around like it's your only friend, but your only friends can't be reached so late this afternoon. They're at the dollar matinee and forgot to tell you. Hey, you can punch me if you like. Shove me. Kick me on the floor, but when the word starts to spread there'll be a hundred at your door.

From Helsinki to Hokkaido, Lima to Taipei, man, no matter where I go, I get a free stay because the kindness of a stranger ain't just a dumb cliché, when you're living like I do on reciprocity.

I don't make enemies, I make amends. You wave that gun around like it's your only friend, but your only friends are the toys with the movie tie-ins to the meals leavin ketchup underneath all of your chins. I know they're sitting quietly so perfect on the shelf. They don't bicker and complain. They just leave you to yourself.

But our world is slowly shrinking, getting smaller every day. Better learn to make some room, man, back off. Just walk away. You see we long to know Mahatma, Madiba, MLK; not some selfish, cracker prick shillin' for the NRA.

I don't make enemies, I make amends. You wave that gun around like it's your only friend.

I don't make enemies, I make amends. Your only friend. Your only friend.